Michael Gray

There once was a young man who simply felt inadequate. He wasn’t good at anything, especially hunting. The other young men in his village put him to shame. Whenever Freddy Hicktoe tried to hunt, the animals would always run free. This wasn’t because Freddy was a pacifist. No, it was because he couldn’t shoot a bow and arrow if his life depended on it.

Freddy tried time and time again, practising alone by himself in the woods. But no matter the hours he put in he couldn’t straighten his arm any further or pull the string any tighter. His body was holding him back.

It was time for the daily hunt and Freddy was busy preparing arrows in his small thatched roof hut. He sat at his wooden table, made by his father, and sharpened each arrow head. He then put the finished arrows into his quiver made of goatskin.

He left his hut to join the crowd gathered in the centre of the village. Freddy felt everyone’s eyes on him as he approached. He slipped into the back of the hunter’s circle. In the centre stood Gregory Toothsaw, the best hunter in the village. While the older men had gone to raid other villages for supplies, Gregory remained to make sure these young men were prepared to provide for the village by themselves.

Gregory paced around the circle looking each young man in the eye. ‘You know the drill,’ barked Gregory. ‘First one back with a slain pig, deer, or three rabbits will win today’s challenge. No stealing, fighting, or deviance of any kind.’ The boys gripped their bows, waiting for the moment. Gregory raised his voice from a growl and into a shout, ‘Hunt hard!’

The circle immediately broke up and everyone raced out of the village and into the woods. Freddy ran with them but made a hard left. The boys went their separate ways, running past trees and jumping over roots. Freddy clutched his bow tightly to his chest as he stumbled over rocks and fallen trees. He made it further and further from the other hunters until he was alone in the woods, with nothing but the sound of insects and birds in the trees.

Freddy looked in each direction but he could see no movement. His eyes took to the ground in search of animal tracks. Nothing. He continued walking until he noticed a snapped branch at the height of his knees. Freddy examined the area, even sniffing the ground for a trace of his prey. A strong whiff took Freddy behind a shrub where some large droppings lay. Boar droppings. He poked at  them with a stick. Still fresh.

Freddy felt cold droplets of rain reach his bare skin. He looked up through the gaps in the trees to see dark, gloomy clouds. He knew he should turn back, get to shelter. But he was hot on the boar’s trail and he wouldn’t go back without its hulking carcass draped over his shoulders.

Freddy followed the trail left by the boar. Broken branches and disturbed earth led the way deeper into the woods. He made sure to follow quietly. Slow footsteps, minimising the crunch of leaves and twigs underfoot. Freddy felt his hairs stand up on the back of his neck, more from anticipation than the cold of the rain. The boar was close.

Freddy reached into the quiver on his back and retrieved an arrow which he fed into the bow and held it there. He brushed past more low lying shrubs, following the well marked path the board had left for him. Carefully stepping once more, a crunch of leaves sounded behind him. Freddy turned and pointed his weapon at the source of the sound. Nothing. Something didn’t feel right. A loud guttural roar shook the earth and the air around him. Freddy gasped and whirled back around. His arrow pointed at a jugular, a human jugular. It was Axel, one of the hunters. ‘Expecting something else?’ Axel smirked. ‘Best put that bow down before you hurt someone, namely yourself.’

‘I-I… sorry’, Freddy stammered.

‘No harm done Fred. I’m sure you would have misfired anyway,’ said Axel. ‘So, looks like we have the trail of some beasty then.’

‘Hey, I found the trail first.’

‘Now, now, is that the way to treat one of your fellow men? C’mon, first one to deadify that boar, wins.’

Freddy nodded reluctantly.

‘There you go,’ Axel punched Freddy in the shoulder and pushed forward along the boar’s trail. Rubbing his shoulder Freddy tailed right behind him.

‘So Fred,’ Axel toned down to a whisper. ‘What makes today so different huh? Do you really think you can take a big ol’ beasty on your lonesome? You find a bunch of performance enhancing berries or something?’

The rain was falling at a steady downpour now. The trees gave only little protection to Freddy and Axel as they explored the woods.

‘You don’t give up do you?,’ said Axel. ‘Well, maybe you should. Not everyone is cut out for hunting. Wait, I lied. Everyone in the village can hunt, except… well, you. Best stay back and let the professional deal with this. I’ve killed ten beasties in just this past week. What’s your track record? A rabbit carcass with its insides gutted by a wolf?’

Freddy continued to trudge silently behind Axel but his hands were clenched now and blood was rushing to his face.

A guttural growl sounded in the distance. This time it was the real deal. Axel pushed aside a branch and peeked through to a clearing where the boar lay in wait.

‘Boy it’s a big one,’ Axel reached into his quiver and procured an arrow.

‘It’s mine!’ Freddy snapped and smacked the arrow out of Axel’s hand.

‘You fogwitting poxhole!’ Axel fell to his hands and knees in search of the arrow.

The boar turned in the direction of the noise. Freddy steadied his bow and pulled back the string. He looked down the bow and began to shake. Freddy put every bit of himself into the arrow. Axel, the village, the other hunters. None of it mattered except the kill. Time slowed. Every breath was slow and constant. Pulling tighter, the string began to creak. Freddy released it. Fwoosh. The arrow broke out of the bow’s grip and sailed through the air. His eyes followed the arrow as it descended down toward its target.

Axel got to his feet and looked to the clearing. It was empty. The boar was gone. ‘I don’t believe it, you hailfrecken cheated and you still let it get away.’

Freddy’s arrow was stuck into a nearby tree. His heart sank and a hot cloud of embarrassment washed over him. He threw down his bow and ripped the quiver off his back.

‘What in Hawrick’s name are you doing?’ Axel gripped Freddy’s wrist.

Freddy broke free and ran back the way they had come, his eyes burning hot as he left Axel standing at the edge of the clearing. He ran until his feet bled, and continued to run still. He could never be a hunter. He could never be like the rest of them.

Freddy burst through some trees to find himself standing by the edge of a lake. He had taken a wrong turn, but instead of turning back Freddy sat by the water’s edge and carefully put each cut foot into the water. The lake was empty and Freddy looked into his reflection in the water. His eyes were red.

Something danced beneath the lake’s surface. Freddy recoiled as something tickled his toes. There in the water was a school of wildly animated fish. For what seemed like a lifetime Freddy continued to stare at the fish as they brushed past his feet.

And then it hit Freddy. Wild boar, deer, and rabbit weren’t the only meat the village needed. He may never be a hunter, but one day he could make a good fisherman. Freddy retreated back into the forest to find the perfect fishing spear.

It didn’t take him long. Soon Freddy had constructed a crude spear using a large branch and a spare arrowhead. The rain had stopped. Freddy approached the lake with renewed optimism and stabbed the spear down into its murky depths. He pulled the spear out, dripping with water, eager to see his impaled victim on the end of it. It was clear of all fish life. Puzzled, Freddy tries once again, plunging the spear into the lake. He pulls it out. Nothing. Freddy keeps at it, frantically impaling the water again and again. With a pained scream and a hefty toss, Freddy thrusts his spear into the air. It lands in the lake and gently floats away.

Freddy trudges back to the village. The pain from the earlier boar incident still stung, but now he truly felt defeated.

‘The thing is Fred, we aren’t the same,’ said Deremi Golkton. ‘Each of us have our own unique abilities. You just haven’t found yours yet.’ Inside a modest little hut Freddy nursed a cup of hot carrot soup. Aunty Deremi sat on a nearby chair propped up by cushions.

‘That’s what I thought you’d say,’ said Freddy, slurping as he drank the cup. ‘Then how come the rest of the boys can hunt? Why am I the only one who struggles?’

‘I can assure you you’re not the only one. Have you told the others?’

‘I don’t have to, they already know. I haven’t caught a living thing yet.’

‘Then what if one of the other boys was having issues? Just like you?’ Deremi pointed to the window. Freddy looked out to see Axel showing off his fresh boar carcass to Gregory Toothsaw.

‘What are you getting at?’

‘I’m getting at the truth Fred. Everyone struggles and a lot of the time they won’t admit it. It’s embarrassing.’

‘What’s embarrassing is how I handle my bow. How can I improve on that? No one is as bad as me.’

‘Practice. Patience. And something else beginning with P.’

‘Pain?’ smirked Freddy.

‘Exactly. One has to go through a lot of pain when learning a new skill.’

‘But I’ve practiced for hours. Days even.’

‘Then maybe it’s more about how you’re practising then the amount of time you put in’.

‘I had the same training as the rest of them. I did all the homework.’

‘As I said, everyone is different. Everyone learns at a different pace.’

‘What if I’m incapable of learning?’ Freddy mumbled into his cup. Now devoid of soup, chunks of carrot were left at the bottom.

‘Then you’d best leave,’ said Deremi, standing up and snatching the cup off Fred. ‘Why are you even here?’

Freddy got up. ‘I just wanted somebody to talk to.’

Deremi watched as he turned and left the hut.

Freddy entered his own hut and sat slumped on the floor, his head resting against the side of the bed.

‘Perhaps some people are meant to be failures,’ he sighed. He felt his eyes close all by themselves.

Freddy awoke to two solid knocks on his door. ‘Just a second,’ he half groaned. Freddy got up, wiped the saliva off his chin and opened the door.

‘Nice hairdo,’ said Jeremiah, one of the young hunters. Freddy took a hand to his hair and tried to flatten it rather unsuccessfully.

‘I’ve come to train you,’ said Jeremiah.

‘What, in hair styling?’ said Freddy.

‘If only. I’m afraid I only know how to hunt,’ said Jeremiah. ‘Deremi told me about your predicament…’

Freddy smirked.

‘… and yes I know you took the same lessons as the rest of us, but my father shared a few tricks with me before he left.’

Freddy bit his lip.

‘You do want to hunt don’t you?’

‘Yes. Yes of course I do. But I can’t. I don’t think a few tricks are going to fix anything.’

‘You can use my quiver,’ said Jeremiah as he handed it over.

‘Are you sure?’

Jeremiah nodded and Freddy took the quiver full of arrows.

‘Alrighty. Let’s go then. I know just the spot,’ said Jeremiah.

Freddy left his hut and followed Jeremiah to a clearing just outside the village.

‘Here we go,’ said Jeremiah. He readied his bow and took an arrow from the quiver still in Freddy’s hands.

‘But there’s nothing here,’ said Freddy.

‘You just need to look hard enough,’ Jeremiah pulled the bow tight and with a quick release the arrow sailed through the air and into a tree. Freddy looked puzzled as Jeremiah walked under the great oak tree and put his hands out. A bird’s nest fell neatly into Jeremiah’s outstretched hands. Inside the nest lay two speckled eggs, unbroken.

Freddy stood stunned, his mouth agape.

‘Now you try,’ Jeremiah passed the bow to Freddy. He cracked the egg and sucked out its insides. ‘Just pick a target and shoot.’

‘Look hard enough huh?’ Freddy readied his bow, scanning his surroundings. He focused on a little green apple still clutching onto its branch over 100 yards away. Freddy pulled the string tight.

‘Now just before you fire – here’s the tip.’ Jeremiah paused for a few moments just for emphasis. ‘Forget about the arrow. Forget about the bow. Concentration is killer. Instead, focus on say… a fine cup of mead or the blonde by the well. ‘

Freddy closed his eyes and began to picture the blonde by the well pouring a cup of mead. Jeremiah smiled.

‘Um.. the visualising is good, but you may still want to keep your eyes open. Just an idea.’

‘Oh’. Freddy’s eyelids fluttered open.

‘Okay, here goes… well, nothing.’ Freddy released the string and the arrow flew through the air. 100 yards away an apple fell from a tree, falling to the ground in shards.

‘By Hawrick I think he’s got it.’ Jeremiah gave a friendly wallop on Freddy’s back.

Freddy dropped the bow to the ground. Just as before he stood stunned, his mouth hanging open.

‘See it’s not as hard as you thought. Have a play, I’ll see you later for the hunt’. Jeremiah walked back into the village.

Hours later Freddy sat on a tree stump wiping his brow. 100 yards away dozens of green apples lay broken and scattered amongst the roots of the trees. Freddy swung the empty quiver onto his shoulder and walked back into the village with a smile on his face.

Seven seasons of the vampire-butt-kicking Scooby Gang aired between 1997 and 2003. A little late to the party I managed to polish them off during the last six months. So why Buffy now?

Two words: Joss. Whedon.

Having already seen Firefly and Dollhouse I knew I needed more of Joss’s masterstrokes. And that’s when I became obsessed with anything and everything Buffy.

Here are my top five episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Note that all these choices are unique in their format. They aren’t ordinary Buffy episodes, which are great in their own right, especially with the quippage and the snappy dialogues. But when Joss goes off the rails and tries something completely different, well, supernatural stuff happens.

And in no particular order we have…

Hush

 

For nearly half an hour (27 minutes according to Wikipedia) there is not a single line of dialogue on screen. Harking back to the days of silent cinema where in turn the music becomes oh so more significant. The premise is some creepy beings called ‘The Gentleman’ came along and stole the voice from every Sunnydale citizen while they slept.

Forget The Master. Forget Adam. The Gentleman are the scariest villains in the entire series. They float around Sunnydale at night in Victorian suits and wooden teeth, smiling as they watch their wild straight-jacketed minions capture their prey. Then its time to carve out some human hearts. All in the most polite and courteous manner.

Buffy and Riley finally share their love with a kiss. But this is also the point of the season where Riley and Buffy find out each other’s secrets. One is a Slayer, and the other, a military man. Both are tasked with taking care of vampires and demons.

Joss, being the clever fellow that he is, uses the episode to demonstrate problems with communication. Once they lose speech everyone is able to express themselves more clearly – ironic huh? Though of course there are still a few blunders.

The ending is absolute gold. Riley and Buffy can finally talk again but instead they sit in silence, unsure where to begin.

Once More With Feeling

And I thought Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog was good. This “musical” episode takes characters and a show we already know and love and well, turns it into a musical. Sweet, a demon, is summoned and casts a spell over the town of Sunnydale so that anyone can spontaneously burst into song at any given moment. Think Hush but in reverse.

Each character expresses their true feelings through song, finally things that they’ve been keeping secret come into the air. Buffy sings about her troubles and later about needing something worth singing about. Tara sings a lovely song about Willow only to find out about Willow’s magic meddling and so then she sings about how she has to leave her. Same with Giles to Buffy, in order to let her cope on her own. Xander and Anya sing about how they both love and hate each other and their uncertainty for the future. Unfortunately Willow doesn’t have her own song, only a few musical lines throughout. My favourite: “I think this line’s mostly filler”. Dawn’s song is interrupted and becomes a ballet of sorts. Spike sings about his torn heart for Buffy.

Walk Through The Fire is a damn epic and features heavily on my iPod along with the rest of the album. Yes, there’s even a Buffy album.

The Body

Warning! Pretty major spoiler ahead.

Right, you Buffy virgins all gone? Good.

So avid Buffy watchers, you must know that this is the episode in which Buffy’s mother, Joyce Summers, dies. Boy did I bawl my eyes out during those 45 minutes. Well, more like a constant drip.

There is no music throughout the episode. Everything is slowed right down to real-time, Breaking Bad style. In stark contrast to all the supernatural deaths on the show, this one is natural, a cerebral aneurysm. Joss’s mother went the same way.

Joyce was in recovery from her operations that season and in true Whedon fashion he killed her off right at her happiest point – being given flowers after a first date.

Everyone in the Scooby Gang deals with the death in their own special way. Buffy imagines scenarios in which Joyce survived. Xander throws his fist into a wall. Willow can’t decide what would be appropriate to wear. Anya, relatively new to the whole human emotion deal, breaks down. Dawn goes to see Joyce’s body in the morgue, by herself. And the only supernatural bit in the episode happens when a vampire rises from an operating table, in a tense. rough battle made all the more scary without music.

Again Joss pushes the boundaries of what TV can do. Without such a creative risk taker something like this would never have made it to air. It’s so raw and unlike any Buffy episode before it. This death meant something.

 

Restless

Instead of defeating the Big Bad in in a massive build up (that happened the episode before), this season finishes off with something quite different.

Due to using some big magicks to defeat Adam, four of the Scoobies are trapped inside their dreams, stalked by the First Slayer, an ancient African female, primal in her urges to slay. It would pay to watch the director’s commentary after this one. Much of the episode is spent inside the dream space. While Joss does say that most of the symbols should be taken quite literally it can still be a tad hard to decipher without the codex of a good director’s commentary.

Xander has the best dream by far and I’m not saying that because of the off-screen lesbian action! He has to conquer his fear of his failure from his long string of jobs and living in his parent’s basement. The long chase scene through each film set is incredible, Xander always ending up at the root of all his fear, the basement and what it stands for. Buffy’s Mum tries to seduce Xander which is awkward for him even after he’s freed from the dream.

The Cheese Man. What does he represent? We may never know. Joss says he’s completely random and without meaning, but I know better. The cheese Man is the answer to everything!

 

Fool For Love

The only non-Joss Whedon episode to make my list. And that award goes to Doug Petrie who wrote the screenplay for this unmissable glimpse into Spike’s backstory. Sure it’s mostly in flashback as Spike tells his story to Buffy, but it’s flashbacks we haven’t seen before – LOST style. After a near death encounter Buffy seeks out Spike’s experience with killing slayers so she can avoid encountering the same fate.

Who would’ve guessed badass Spike was a nancy mummy’s boy and a poet? The Master sired Darla who sired Angel who sired Drusilla who sired Spike, or rather, William.

All it takes is one bite to the neck and soon the meek boy William becomes a confident bloodthirsty vamp. So confident that we see Spike take on his first slayer in China in 1900.

Fast-forward to the 70’s where Spike faces off against a slayer on a New York subway train in an epic battle. Plus get a look at Spike’s outfit!

Like many of you Spike became my favourite character of the series. Where sometimes Buffy would be mopey Spike would always have something smart to say no matter his current state of mind.

 

That’s all folks. Off to watch Angel I go.

As posted on ButtonMasher.

Before Nathan Drake and Victor Sullivan there was another duo in town; Jak and Daxter. Naughty Dog’s last series of games took place on the PlayStation 2.

And I was smitten. I played all three games as well as the spinoff Jax X: Combat Racing. Which wasn’t such a bad game guys. Really.

Instead of treating this as a new release (it clearly isn’t) I will briefly go over each of the games and discuss some pointers about the HD release.

Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

Jak and Daxter was my first PS2 game. Now there’s a bit of a backstory to this. For Christmas one year our family received a PS2. As it was a big ticket item it was meant for us all to share. But really it was my brother and I who became the guardians of the black box.

We went away to Christchurch for the holidays. As we got home my Mum and stepdad forewarned us that we were robbed while we were away. Some filthy lowlife had nicked our PS2 along with a bunch of other high-tech items. We were devastated.

A month or so into the next year my siblings and I visited Australia for the first time with our Dad. I walked into an electronics shop and picked up Jak and Daxter off the shelf. I was new to the Australian dollar and it seemed a bargain even though I used up all my spending money in one hit. We no longer had a PS2 but for some reason I just knew I would get the chance to play it. I would make it happen.

And wouldn’t you know it, later in the year our PS2 was returned by the police, found along with most of the other stolen gear. The controllers had fingerprinting dust stuck inside the analog sticks but they still worked. We had our PS2 back and I could finally play Jak and Daxter. Goodbye study time.

Having played the Crash Bandicoot series back on the PlayStation I knew what kind of platforming goodness I was in for. If you hadn’t guessed Naughty Dog was my favourite developer in this time of my life. Later Valve took the mantle. Sorry guys.

Naughty Dog stayed close to its roots with Jak and Daxter. The biggest change in their design would have to be going open world and giving the player full camera control. No more bandicoot backside.

Jak had a spin attack just like Crash, was a mute just like Crash – in the first game Jak was merely another skin for Crash Bandicoot. Luckily we have Daxter, the adorable, hilarious – and very orange – little ottsel. Although he didn’t end up helping, with anything really, at least he provided us with companionship.

Like all platforming games it’s a bit of a collect-athon. Power cells are like the stars in Super Mario 64. And the precursor orbs are scattered everywhere like the yellow coins. You have your boss fights and your vastly varying environments.

Jak II: Renegade

This one doesn’t have much of a story but I did buy it from Dick Smith soon after it came out with its $110 price tag. I don’t remember ever spending that much money on a single game before that. Crossing the $100 threshold let me in on the Dick Smith VIP club. The card that I still hold in my wallet today.

If you ever wanted to see a game reboot itself – drastically – this one’s a pretty decent example. Jak probably undergoes the most transformation of any videogame character in just the first five minutes of the game. I guess to be fair there is a “two years later” title card.

No longer an innocent, silent elf, Jak is seen with a new hairdo and a gruff demeanour. He’s even sporting a goatee. As we all know goatees can make anyone into a badass. Being pumped with “Dark Eco” is the reason behind this drastic transformation. While I never found the first game wanting, I guess Naughty Dog needed a kick in the pants to stray further from its safe zone.

Gone is the lovely themed ice, lava, and grass worlds. Here is the dirty metropolis of the future; Haven City. Featuring flying cars and Orwellian cameras and city security. Jak now wields guns and the powers of Dark Eco. Stealing the GTA city and mission structure Jak II is a radical departure from the first game. And it was worth the risk. I loved it. Did I mention hoverboards?

Jak 3: No Subtitle Necessary

My stories are getting less and less romantic. I waited for this one to come down in price. Probably after spending so much on Jak II I thought I’d play the game stock market and wait for the eventual decline.

While not quite the departure from the first to the second game Jak 3 took a big focus on vehicles and racing across a Wasteland that surrounds Haven City. You will return to Haven City but it’s not the same bustling city you left behind.

You want more? You got it. The yang to his yin, literally, Jak earns the powers of Light Eco enabling powers of flight and time. Did I mention hanggliders?

All and all it’s a satisfying conclusion to the series.

The Trilogy Re-Release

So you want to know about the differences in this re-release do you? They say it’s in 720p and I may as well believe them, it looks pretty good. All besides the HUD which does look a little blurry on a modern display. Unlike Beyond Good and Evil HD the HUD has not been remade which is a little unfortunate. On the upside the character models aren’t as jaggy as you’d think. Lovely curves and lines. Lots of solid colour. It doesn’t look like a PS3 game at any stretch but it won’t burn out your eyeballs either.

There’s even 3D support. As I’m but a lowly temp and can’t afford a 3D setup, you flash guys will have to test that one out yourselves.

I was confused at first but there is Trophy support for each game. You’ll have to start each game from the disc menu for the trophy collection to load for each game. It truly is three games in one.

Verdict? If you played these games as much as I have you might find it a bit difficult completing each game for the umpteenth time. But for those still into their platforming, especially the young’ns out there, I’d recommend this epic trilogy wholeheartedly. Jak and Daxter is my Sony duo of choice. Sorry Ratchet and Clank.